01
HISTORY
From Hate to Love.
In 2001, Microsoft called Linux a cancer. Later, Microsoft celebrated Linux. The penguin got a corporate makeover.
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Linux jokes
without the training.
Pick a joke below. Every KEEP READING → button opens a full satirical article in the Microfuck document reader.
02
HISTORY
The Final Stage of Linux Adoption.
First they feared Linux. Then they fought Linux. Now they fund Linux. Next: claim it was always the plan.
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OPEN SOURCE
Open Source, Corporate Edition.
Microsoft's idea of open source: put a window on the cage.
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OPEN SOURCE
They Couldn't Beat Linux.
So they integrated it, acquired things around it, and called the integration innovation.
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AZURE
Microsoft's Cloud Runs on Linux.
Because even Windows deserves a Linux-powered support group.
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LINUX
The Penguin Costume.
They mocked the penguin; now they wear it at developer conferences.
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LINUX
Strategic Love.
Microsoft fell in love with Linux the way a wolf falls in love with sheep: after discovering the sheep has useful infrastructure.
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LINUX
Hell Installed Ubuntu.
The day Microsoft embraced Linux, hell installed Ubuntu.
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LINUX
Rebranding Romance.
When they say “We love Linux,” Microfuck hears: “It's not romance. It's rebranding.”
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LINUX
A quote from Steve Ballmer (Microsoft CEO at the time, 2001) is legendary:
A quote from Steve Ballmer (Microsoft CEO at the time, 2001) is legendary: “Linux is a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to everything it touches.” And now, two decades later, Microsoft runs Linux on Azure, contributes to the Linux kernel, and ships WSL (Windows Subsystem for Linux). 😁
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LINUX
Microsoft once called Linux a cancer. Now it’s their favorite child. Guess who’s paying for therapy.
Microsoft once called Linux a cancer. Now it’s their favorite child. Guess who’s paying for therapy. 😁
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LINUX
First they feared Linux. Then they fought Linux. Now they fund Linux. The final stage? Pretend they…
First they feared Linux. Then they fought Linux. Now they fund Linux. The final stage? Pretend they invented it. 😁
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LINUX
Windows was allergic to Linux, until Microsoft realized open-source comes with free labor.
Windows was allergic to Linux, until Microsoft realized open-source comes with free labor. 😁
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LINUX
If Linux is a cancer, then Azure must be a tumor, powered by Microsoft’s own hypocrisy.
If Linux is a cancer, then Azure must be a tumor, powered by Microsoft’s own hypocrisy. 😁
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LINUX
Remember when Microsoft said ‘Linux is a threat’? Funny, because now Windows cries without it.
Remember when Microsoft said ‘Linux is a threat’? Funny, because now Windows cries without it. 😁
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SATIRE
Open source was once Microsoft’s enemy. Now it’s their marketing strategy.
Open source was once Microsoft’s enemy. Now it’s their marketing strategy. 😁
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LINUX
Microsoft called Linux a virus, then downloaded it for breakfast.
Microsoft called Linux a virus, then downloaded it for breakfast. 😁
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LINUX
They said Linux would destroy innovation. Turns out, it just destroyed Windows servers’ uptime excuses.
They said Linux would destroy innovation. Turns out, it just destroyed Windows servers’ uptime excuses. 😁
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LINUX
Linux was open, Microsoft was closed. Now Microsoft says ‘we love open source,’ right after buying GitHub.
Linux was open, Microsoft was closed. Now Microsoft says ‘we love open source,’ right after buying GitHub. 😁
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LINUX
Microsoft fell in love with Linux the same way a wolf falls in love with sheep. Only after getting hungry.
Microsoft fell in love with Linux the same way a wolf falls in love with sheep. Only after getting hungry. 😁
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LINUX
When Microsoft says ‘we love Linux,’ it’s like a fox saying it loves the henhouse.
When Microsoft says ‘we love Linux,’ it’s like a fox saying it loves the henhouse. 😁
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LINUX
From anti-Linux crusader to open-source preacher. Microsoft’s conversion deserves its own Netflix series.
From anti-Linux crusader to open-source preacher. Microsoft’s conversion deserves its own Netflix series. 😁
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LINUX
Linux runs the world; Windows runs ads.
Linux runs the world; Windows runs ads. 😁
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LINUX
Microsoft’s cloud runs on Linux because even Windows doesn’t trust Windows.
Microsoft’s cloud runs on Linux because even Windows doesn’t trust Windows. 😁
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SATIRE
Microsoft’s idea of open source: put a window on the cage.
Microsoft’s idea of open source: put a window on the cage. 😁
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LINUX
They couldn’t beat Linux, so they forked their morals instead.
They couldn’t beat Linux, so they forked their morals instead. 😁
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LINUX
When Ballmer said Linux was a cancer, he forgot to mention it would metastasize inside Microsoft’s data…
When Ballmer said Linux was a cancer, he forgot to mention it would metastasize inside Microsoft’s data centers. 😁
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LINUX
The day Microsoft embraced Linux, hell installed Ubuntu.
The day Microsoft embraced Linux, hell installed Ubuntu. 😁
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LINUX
“From Hate to ‘Love’: Microsoft’s Linux Conversion Story Nobody Asked For”
“From Hate to ‘Love’: Microsoft’s Linux Conversion Story Nobody Asked For” In 2001, Microsoft called Linux a cancer. In 2015, the same Microsoft printed T-shirts saying ‘Microsoft ♥ Linux.’ So the question writes itself: Can we trust someone who once tried to kill Linux, and now pretends to love it? When a company spends decades fighting open source, spreading FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt), and then suddenly claims to be its best friend — that’s not love, that’s strategic survival. Microsoft didn’t embrace Linux because it believed in freedom; it embraced it because the world stopped believing in Windows. Azure runs on Linux because reliability wins over pride. GitHub was bought because open-source developers stopped trusting Microsoft’s promises. Love isn’t born from lawsuits, patents, and monopolies. It’s born from respect, and that’s something Microsoft never had for the op
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UPDATE
MICROSOFT: THE COMPANY THAT LOVES CHOICE — AS LONG AS YOU CHOOSE THEM
MICROSOFT: THE COMPANY THAT LOVES CHOICE — AS LONG AS YOU CHOOSE THEM Remember when Microsoft said it “loved Linux” after calling it a cancer? That’s like a hunter suddenly hugging the deer — right before installing telemetry updates on it. Every time you buy a laptop, you’re not just getting hardware — you’re buying an arranged marriage with Windows. You didn’t propose, you didn’t say “I do,” but there it is, smiling at you with a EULA thicker than your warranty. Refuse it, and your only “choice” is to admire your new, very shiny brick. They call it user freedom. We call it click here to surrender. And then there’s the refund fairy tale. According to Microsoft, if you reject the Windows license, you should ask your laptop manufacturer for a refund. The manufacturer, in turn, says “talk to Microsoft.” The circle of responsibility spins faster than Windows Update on a bad Wi-Fi signal
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LINUX
“Windows Server — For When You Want Linux But Fear Freedom.”
🪟 “Windows Server — For When You Want Linux But Fear Freedom.” Same commands, triple the cost, half the reliability. 😁
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UPDATE
PowerPoint: Turning Sleep into a Slide Deck
It’s not a presentation — it’s a lullaby in 16:9.
We know that updates are important to maintain, patch and secure the OS, but why Windows makes updates automatically downloaded and installed? In the other hand, on Linux, you update and upgrade your Linux OS manually. Why? And why on Windows it needs to restart the computer, and on Linux, it does not? Linux, born to be root, not to reboot 😁😁😁KEEP READING →MICROFUCK STATUSAll systems sarcastically operational.
32 long articles
Microsoft Discovers Linux
After decades of research, Microsoft engineers made a shocking discovery:
LINUX ALREADY EXISTED.
Microsoft immediately proposed to:
• acquire Linux
• rename Linux
• put Linux inside Teams
• add a subscription
• require a Microsoft account
• add Copilot
• remove the Start button
Linux users declined Microsoft’s offer.
Microsoft immediately proposed to:
• acquire Linux
• rename Linux
• put Linux inside Teams
• add a subscription
• require a Microsoft account
• add Copilot
• remove the Start button
Linux users declined Microsoft’s offer.